let it go

I've always been pretty laid back, almost to the point where it can become a problem. Somehow I can always convince myself that things will work out. If I'm honest, my security has nothing to do with me. I'm aware that there's more out there than myself. I'm part of something beyond today and my humble efforts to make the world a better place.

There are people out there who hate the fact that I don't worry. Some call it laziness, others foolishness. But then again, we've been told this would happen (1 corinthians 2:14).

But even in spite of my personality, and the hope of a God who numbers each hair on my head...there are still moments when my humanity prevails, when I realize that my most sincere and fervent efforts won't change anything. It's not that I've failed, or that God has abandoned me, but it's those situations where this world has its way. And I'm left frustrated, hurt, and wanting nothing more than to fix it all. The truth is, sometimes we can do our best and this sinful world still prevails.

My view is not pessimistic or cynical. Maybe I'm having a moment like David did so many times in the psalms. Sometimes our only available offering to Him is the pain inside us. There is freedom in that kind of surrender, in handing over the struggles of this life.

Sure, I'd love to change how certain things happened. But I can't be selfish. This world is His, and if He allows something to happen, then I have to let it go.