i want to listen

The human heart is desperate for meaning. We want to know that our lives matter. We desire that this existence amounts to more than temporary consciousness, and that we can contribute to this world beyond the way our bodies fertilize the ground surrounding our gravestones.

I had a conversation today about this desire. A friend pointed out that the evidence for humanity's search for meaning and significance is evident everywhere. Consider websites like YouTube. Virtually anything imaginable can be found there...people endangering their safety, revealing their personal lives, being profane, demeaning others, bending morals, and anything else you can think of. I'm not trying to dismiss YouTube as a useful site (I happen to go there almost daily), but after spending considerable time there I have to wonder why countless people would compromise their integrity and dignity with the whole world as a audience.

The truth is, sometimes people start to feel lost in the masses. Without any purpose, at least one that outlasts this earth and lifetime, they grasp on to any means of making themselves known. They would rather embrace temporary recognition, even if it's negative, rather than face the unknown, and the possibility of disappearing into history forever.

My heart breaks for this world and the efforts it makes. If only they knew a God exists that numbers each hair on our heads. He isn't bound by money (good news for America right now), He strengthens and comforts in the midst of pain, values humanity above any known created being, offers hope beyond this life, and provides a means of lasting fulfillment.

Although I didn't realize it, someone close to me growing up seemed to understand this. I was probably too young or naive to grasp it at the time, but she genuinely listened to people. Though she's passed away, I'm still inspired by the life she lived. She understood the desperate longing in the hearts of people without hope. I've never known anyone who attracted more hurting, lonely, and questioning people. They flocked to her constantly, and all the while, no matter what the situation or how tired she was, she consistently, genuinely, and lovingly engaged them. I heard one of her friends say once, "When I talk with her, I feel like I'm the only person in the world."

That is my goal. In a world thirsty for meaning, I want to be the person people run to, who reminds them of how important they are. And really, it's not so much my own desire I'd be furthering. I'd simply be passing along the love that's been given to me freely.

I want to live in a world where people don't have to post some stupid video to feel loved.

bellbottoms have thankfully lost their trendiness

I'm listening to Youth Group, an awesome band from the 70's. I kind of wonder what I'd be like as a 70's "college kid." If I'd have the same hobbies, look the same, have the same type of friends. Would I be convicted about the same issues?

One thing's for sure...I'd still have my fro.

whose hands

There are some moments in life when things seem overwhelming, when you realize that your most earnest efforts will still leave you helpless. When the feeble nature of our condition hits home, when the deceptive illusion of control is eliminated.

It is then that we truly view life as a gift. We realize that we had nothing to do with our own fates. Everything comes from His hand, and only by His hand can anything last.

We should take comfort in this, because if things were left up to us, we'd be in trouble.

sweet tea

Today I went longboarding with my friend Nate. When we got back to my house, I opened the fridge to find a drink, only to find five pitchers of sweet tea. That's right, I said FIVE. Now let me explain. My family is extremely into sweet tea, except everyone prefers a slightly different recipe. In my fridge right now their are two pitchers of regular sweet tea, two pitchers of sweet tea with lemon, and one pitcher (for my dad) of unsweetened with a hint of green tea. It's moments like this when I'm truly proud to be a part of my family.

I am personally a fan of the sweetened tea with lemon. I suppose it's because I grew up on that stuff. Here is the recipe for anyone desiring to taste perfection:

Boil water in a pot. Put 1.5 cups of sugar in a gallon pitcher. When water is boiling, pour into pitcher with sugar. Stir thoroughly, then quickly adding in 1 Lipton gallon size tea bag. Cover pitcher immediately and let sit for 30 minutes. Then remove tea bag, fill up the remainder of the pitcher with cold water and add lemon.

I'm telling you...this is the way to go :)

flaws

Sometimes I want to leave parts of myself behind. The parts I'm insecure about. I fill my life with "new things" and "better things." I stay busy long enough to convince myself that I've changed. But the trail of breadcrumbs leads hopelessly back to the source, and I realize I'm the same person I've always been.

As much as I'd love to dispel certain flaws from existence, there is an unwelcome beauty within them. There is a constant need for His perfection. I often wonder at the emptiness that would result if every desire I had was granted; when the necessity of God in this physical world was eliminated.

The human heart is like a growing sponge, always thirsting after more and never able to fully quench itself. All these things that I see as flaws, perhaps they are simply reminders of His grace, which is sufficient for me.

all we want is you

Last Friday I played a show in Scottsdale, Arizona. My good friend Nate played his last show with Iamairplane. Quite a few of my friends showed up and it was a blessing to spend time with all of them. Here's a video of the song.

"All We Want is You"

Somehow I lost my way and I can't see straight
The freedom that they promised, it feels like chains
And though I left your side you stayed by mine
And proved yourself to be the hope I couldn't find

All i want is You

Somehow we lost our way
We're all to blame, we're all to blame
But there is hope and there is love
It's in his name, it's in your name

And all we want it you
All we want is You

let it go

I've always been pretty laid back, almost to the point where it can become a problem. Somehow I can always convince myself that things will work out. If I'm honest, my security has nothing to do with me. I'm aware that there's more out there than myself. I'm part of something beyond today and my humble efforts to make the world a better place.

There are people out there who hate the fact that I don't worry. Some call it laziness, others foolishness. But then again, we've been told this would happen (1 corinthians 2:14).

But even in spite of my personality, and the hope of a God who numbers each hair on my head...there are still moments when my humanity prevails, when I realize that my most sincere and fervent efforts won't change anything. It's not that I've failed, or that God has abandoned me, but it's those situations where this world has its way. And I'm left frustrated, hurt, and wanting nothing more than to fix it all. The truth is, sometimes we can do our best and this sinful world still prevails.

My view is not pessimistic or cynical. Maybe I'm having a moment like David did so many times in the psalms. Sometimes our only available offering to Him is the pain inside us. There is freedom in that kind of surrender, in handing over the struggles of this life.

Sure, I'd love to change how certain things happened. But I can't be selfish. This world is His, and if He allows something to happen, then I have to let it go.