doubting thomas

One of my favorite bands, Nickel Creek, has a song called 'Doubting Thomas' It's been one of my favorite songs for a while now. The song gives an honest portrayal of the struggle that happens in the heart of every human. We want to know that God is real...to see Him and touch Him. There are times in life when we've all been there, when we wonder if there really is someone up there watching over us.

As much as this song describes my past, I'm also thankful that God has revealed Himself to my doubts. Despite my hesitation He has been faithful. I'm thankful that He's willing to engage the human mind, remain with us when we question, and offer a love that exceeds anything our minds can conceive.

"Doubting Thomas"

What will be left when I've drawn my last breath
Besides the folks I've met and the folks who've known me
Will I discover a soul-saving love
Or just the dirt above and below me

I'm a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
But I do not feel safe
Oh me of little faith

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
Then I beg to be spared cause I'm a coward
If there's a master of death
I bet he's holding his breath
As I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power

I'm a doubting Thomas
I can't keep my promises
Cause I don't know what's safe
Oh me of little faith

Can I be used to help others find truth
When I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie
Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs
That prove I'm not ready to die

Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted