late nights rock

The original title of this blog was supposed to be 'seduction or laughter' but an unexpected occurrence has caused me to change that. So I was inspired with the former title due to an amazingly lame facebook ad I just saw. It had a picture of a girl and it said: "It all started with a click." It was for some dating profile site, and I had to laugh. How desperate, lonely, and hormone driven do they assume college kids are? I say college kids because the majority of facebook users fall into this age bracket. 

There have been a few other facebook dating ads I've noticed, but I don't deem them worthy of review, so let's just say they're more pathetic than the one I just described. It is hard to believe that some people fall into the trap of being enticed into romance. It seems so cheapened and out of focus. What 'started with a click?' Have we forgotten than relationships are hard work, a process, and more than a bedroom? It's out of faithfulness, honesty, and patience that true joy makes itself real in any relationship, and even then this joy could never be justly represented through some slightly-scandalous facebook advertisement. So, sorry facebook, if you want to reel me in, you're going to have to try harder than that.

Ok, so on to the best part of this post, and the reason why I changed the title of the blog. Realize that I typed all of this out, then went to publish it, only to realize my friend had signed in to his blog on my computer. So I almost posted all of this on his site. How amazing and sweet would that have been for him to read this on his own blog, with no idea how it got there.

Late nights definately do rock.

thankful

There are certain days in California when you have to go to the ocean. I'm not sure what separates these days from others, but there's something in the heat of the sun, the weariness of homework, the company of good amigos that inevitably leads you there. This past Friday was one of those days; it was the start of a good weekend.

First things first...my roommate went to a music festival and bought the new Jimmy Eat World album. If you are unaqainted with this record, please make the time to listen. amazingness.

On Saturday I met with a small group of guys I'm in. We're reading a book by Mike Erie, pastor of Rock Harbor, and it talked about how we always dwell on the things we don't have. At first it sounds obvious, in fact, we see this sort of behavior all the time; the American approach to happiness is bigger, more, faster. Contentment through this approach masquerades as something waiting for us just around the corner, but in reality is evasive and unattainable. But as I talked with my friends we realized that it goes much deeper than simply wanting more all the time. Our selfishness bleeds into everything we do; we start making decisions and doing things for other people for the sake of making ourselves feel better, more valuable, happy. We refuse to simply appreciate the present, but see every blessing as bringing us closer to that final goal; in reality we will never attain or achieve enough to satisfy our hunger. This is the lie we all believe.
This is the lie I want desperately to detach from.

I want to change the way I think. Every blessing in my life should be appreciated as exactly that, rather than as something leading to an even bigger, better blessing. It's so easy to take things for granted, to want more, to refuse to be thankful.

So with this in mind, I'm finding that there is plenty to be thankful for. This weekend alone, there's been so much good. Undeserved. But there all the same.

Highlight of the weekend? Without a doubt, spending time with her :)

change

Tonight I hung out with some good amigos. My friend Matt found some pictures on his Mac of me from my freshman year at Biola. It's crazy how subtle change can come upon us. There are moments when it rushes in and overwhelms us, but more often it silently and slowly infiltrates our existence, and it takes something like an old photo to remind us of how drastically life does change. As I sat on the couch looking at the pictures, so many feelings rushed back into memory; the nervousness of driving onto the campus for the first time, the curiosity at what my roommate would be like, and how everything looked and felt so foreign. Now, as I walk the familiar halls and sidewalks of this campus I've called home for the past few years, I am reminded of my own journey. Somewhere against the backdrop of constancy I am able to distinguish changes in myself that, oblivious to my senses, have been taking place all along.

I have been reminded a lot lately of the subtle nature of change. I was recently blessed to head back home for a week. There's something in the streets, in the air, in the people there that bring back a part of me I forget when I leave. It's not bad or good, it's just different. Every time I return home I arrive a slightly different man, and much like the consitency of my campus, the familiar hometown sights and sounds always remind me of the changes that have taken place.

It's crazy where I have come from, how much I've changed, how much I've learned. My path is marked by so many mistakes and hard falls, but also with incredible hope and meaning. I often feel undeserving of what I've been given.
One area of life that has changed me the most is pain.
It's a terrifying thing to understand pain. To know through experience what it feels like. When faith becomes something to cling to; not because it makes sense, but because it is the only explanation for how you survived. When truth and hope become more than something to talk about, but the air that you breathe; the oxygen you rely on. There is a part of me that is so thankful to understand, and it's often accompanied by bewilderment that I made it through as well as I did.
I have been changed. I will continue to change.
It's crazy how a few old pictures can remind you of more than where you've been, but of how far you've traveled since.