beautiful

Life is full of beauty.
Sometimes it's overwhelming.
There are moments when it becomes extra clear,
and I'm left stumbling, doing my best not to shatter the good around me.
I try to understand Him,
the God who has put people in my life,
and firmly established hope within me.

No matter what my desires become,
even if my plans change,
I trust His beauty to remain.

hey! let's get married!

So, the title of this blog seems to be the creed of everyone I know. Seriously, it seems I've arrived at the point in my life when virtually all of my friends are either married or engaged. Maybe it's me, but I swear it was yesterday we were all still kids, with no more on our minds than whose house to annihilate with toilet paper. It's an interesting jump from that to financing an apartment and providing for the girl of your dreams.

Growing up is such an intriguing feeling. When you know it'd be wrong to go back, but it's terrifying to move forward. I've found adulthood to be a sly fellow; one who creeps his way closer and closer, while most of the time I'm oblivious. But his approaching silhouette has finally fallen heavy over my eyes, and this crowd of ring-wearing friends around me serves as a good reminder of where I'm bound.

So, my fellow best-mans, groomsmen, whatever you may be, let's make this journey together like the vast multitude of humanity before us. We'll probably never feel ready, but maybe that's part of what drives us to try all the harder.

crazy kids and real life

So I went on a reatreat this past weekend with my church (wilshire ave). Just for the record, my church happens to be perhaps the friendliest place I've been in the state of California; been there for almost three years now.

This weekend was good. I must take a moment to give a shout out to everyone who helped defeat the students in our epic game of capture the flag. We pretty much owned at breaking out of jail, and despite the fact that their flag was illegally gaurded, we still managed to win.

The weekend was characterized most by noise. Everywhere. It didn't matter where you went; you could always hear some kid screaming or laughing in the background. As I tried to take a nap in my cabin one afternoon, with the chaotic sounds of junior highers around me, I realized first that sleep was impossible, and secondly, that the sounds reaching my ears were the beautiful melodies of being alive. Sure, after being sleep deprived patience diminishes and energy fades, but just hearing those kids running around gave me a quick glimpse of the beauty of this life.

So many of them come from hurting homes, and though they try to hide it, the pain and confusion rests on their shoulders every minute of their lives. Yet, somehow they were able to leave that behind them in the city, and even if only for a day or two, they could be truly alive. Some even began to open their hearts to the healing power of God, and started to face the pain harbored within them.

As I sat praying in a small circle of students, I saw the subtle tears of hope in their eyes. As pains were shared, as confusion was confessed, as questions were asked.

Thank God for camps, when somehow, in some unthinkable way, hyperness and real life come together in a combination that changes lives.

create in me a clean heart, o God

Because when left alone my heart is sinful and evil.
Only through Him will anything good arise from this heart.
He is all the good inside me.

Currently listening to: White as Snow by Jon Foreman